Tuesday, April 6, 2010

What's Wrong with Holding Hands?

"I started reading your blog around the time you started courting. Congrats for your anniversary! Just wondering...why you don't hold hands?? I understand the whole purity thing. But what's wrong with
holding hands? You look like you just met. Is this your decision or your parents? Just curious."

I recieved this comment today and thought it would make a great post! I want to say thank you to the lady who asked!

First off- There is nothing wrong in and of itself with holding hands. I guess you could go on to say a hug isn't "wrong" or a kiss on the cheek isn't "wrong" either.
When Justin and I first started courting we laid down some rules for ourselves. We decided together that we would not hold hands, and we even decided to drop hand shaking.

Our decision was first and foremost to keep ourselves pure. Less temptation equals less risk.
A second reason was the College rules were very explicit anyways for courting/dating couples.... guys don't touch the girls, girls don't touch the guys.
Our Parents also support our decision.

It is our decision though, even when college is on summer break we don't hold hands.

There have been times I wish we could, --I will be honest and admit it!
We went to a fair with Justin's family and friends last year and there were so many people and I kept getting separated from everyone in our group! Justin chuckled later when he found me ...again... "too bad we don't hold hands, then I could at least stop looking for you every ten minutes!"


But, this is our decision, and I am glad we made it. I know we will have no regrets for doing it this way.

I know there are couples who do hold hands, but if this is what they are decided upon and there parents have okayed, I won't judge them. Every courtship is unique!!

And that's the best part anyways!


Sally, Greg and Hannah said...

Hello there! I have never commented before but have been a reader *ahem* "lurker" for quite some time now.

I am a 28 year old, stay at home mom who has been married to my sweetheart for a little over three years now. We have a beautiful 19 month old daughter and are expecting another baby in June. We are King James Bible believers and are also independent Baptists.

I really feel the need to comment here and tell you how wonderful it is that Justin and yourself do not touch. I recently (on Sunday) had a conversation with my husband about the difference between courting and dating. Before we were married, we said that we were courting. Sadly, as we look back now I know that we were actually dating. Why? Because we held hands, hugged, sat close, went out together with no chaperons, etc. There is such a difference and if I could do it over again I would have done it so much more differently!!! I have regrets and am ashamed of what happened...even though we never kissed. There is still so much purity to consider. Truthfully, I think all of our times alone contributed to the "desire" to hold hands and be physically close...something I always told myself that I would NOT do. :(

You are doing this right and you are truly courting. Something I wish I had done right!


Angie said...

Thanks so much for responding to my post! I still don't understand why holding hands is "tempting" your purity. The no hugs and no kisses, I get. You can save your sugar for later. ;) Sorry just don't see how you could be tempted to do anything when you appear to be with others all the time. The courtships around here, allow holding hands (after a year) and a kiss on the hand only. So forgive me if I thought you two were odd. But then again...you do call yourself an "unusual maiden". I respect that. Love your topics and have a great courtship!

Covey Family said...

That's a neat testimony!! My pastor says "The only license giving a boy to touch a girl is a marriage license." I think 2 Corinthians makes that pretty clear =D

The King's Daughter said...

I found your blog through my friend's blog and I wanted to say it was a blessing to see someone else who believe as I do. May the Lord Bless you for your choice!
The King's Daughter,
Anna D.